The way to address the complex issues of our day is with an equally complex understanding of all the nuances that exist within the current paradigm. We have to be willing to recognize that people have differing views, differing ideologies, differing sets of priorities, differing religious and/or spiritual beliefs, and then realize that those beliefs inform and guide their actions as surely as our own beliefs and ideologies inform ours. We have to make space for compassionate awareness of the human condition, realizing that individuals and groups are programmed toward the beliefs that they hold – EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM – and that there is a need for a conscious unraveling of the false narratives and rote patterns that are associated with those beliefs. We need to be willing to recognize that a majority of the choices that people make are a direct result of the values that they have been conditioned to uphold, and that those values may be very different than our own. Human beings are communal beings by nature. As a result, we form family and community groups that are aligned with ideologies, affirmations, and acceptance. If our ideology is affirmed and accepted by others we say that we’ve found our family or “tribe” (a topic for another day). We do this because we all have an innate need for belonging, acceptance, and affirmation, and because we feel a sense of safety in numbers whether that safety is real or imagined.

The values that many people currently hold are associated with the entrenched capitalist mindset that has ruled this world for the last few millennia (pro and con). The capitalist patriarchy has influenced the development of family and community values by applying unending pressure on the huddled masses to shape them to its will. Generations of families and communities have been molded under this pressure, and the values that they have created and passed on are tied to this oppressive system. Family and community values that were once connected to our diverse cultural teachings were replaced with a homogenized set of values that supported the continuation of capitalism and the maintenance of patriarchal oppression. Our morals and life instructions were once found in the lore, mythology, and practices of our cultural groups. Through these teaching, we learned how to live in harmony with those around us and with the natural world that we inhabited. Under the patriarchy those cultural traditions were destabilized and destroyed in exchange for inclusion in the capitalist scheme. Over time, the traditions of old were replaced by new traditions that were formed around an ever shifting model of economic survival that held little or no regard for long-term human survival on the planet. For instance, a young man who grows up in a mining family and is taught the family values of hard work, self-sacrifice, and adult responsibility in relation to that industry may not see his entry or participation in that industry as negative or destructive, especially if his position is an elevated one that has resulted from generations of his predecessors working their way up through the ranks in true “American Dream” form. For him, it is a family legacy that is as solidly tied to his identity as my own Penobscot tribal and cultural traditions are tied to mine. His participation in this family tradition becomes his measure of value within this reality. He will grow up with a distinct set of values that are based on the experiences, influences, and cultural practices and norms of those around him, and he will have a view of reality that is based on those values. Over several generations, his family’s entry into that industry out of dire necessity shifts to a sense of pride for having not only survived but risen under the oppressive pressure of the system. Then, if this 3rd or 4th generation miner is confronted by someone with a differing view about his industry, he will defend it from all those who viciously malign or attack it, because he will see it as an attack not only on that industry, but on his family’s legacy of survival and his own identity. We could exchange his experience and corresponding history with those of countless others, military families, logging families, paper mill families, deeply religious families, racist families, conservationist families, ethnic and cultural families, peace activist families, and on and on. The circumstances and ideologies formed out of those circumstances will change, but the underlying structure remains the same.

So, how do we effectively deal with the problems in our societies when all of this complexity exists – by bringing a compassionate awareness of its existence to bear on all of our attempts to solve the multitude of problems that we are facing. Then, using that compassionate awareness to seek a common ground or sense of respectful understanding of those with opposing views. The starting point is being willing and able to say: “I see your perspective, but mine is shaped by different experiences” or “I respect the view that you have developed, but my experiences and point of view give me a different understanding, lets talk about our different understandings and influences.” From there, a dialogue can begin that is capable of diffusing the tension between opposing views, while also opening a space that is capable of shifting the realities that they form. This is rarely an easy task. It requires the very best in us to rise up to meet the moment that we are facing. Yet, it provides us with the best chance of finding a new path forward, one that does not involve the need to conquer the other.

In my book “Sacred Instructions; Indigenous Wisdom for Living Spirit-Based Change” I discuss the shared history that has formed our individual ways of being in the world and our collective reality, and I offer suggestions to help us begin the complicated process of unwinding our conditioned beliefs and dissolving the illusion of separation that has maligned us against one another. The path toward human survival and all forms of equitable justice begins with our willingness to collaboratively and compassionately create a new way of being in relationship with one another and with the rest of creation. We will only find that new way if we are willing to step outside of the current divisive paradigm and forge a new path that is based on heart-based wisdom and compassionate understanding. It is my belief that those who are courageous enough to invest in this work are the ones who have the greatest capacity for saving us all.

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Facing devastating events, such as death and illness, is one of the most challenging things that we will do as spiritual beings. These experiences test our fortitude and our faith. They challenge our ability to trust the larger wisdom of the divine, and our own capacity for healing. These devastating events shake us out of our dream and force us to awaken to the moment that we are living in. And, then they force us to look beyond the sheltered reality that we have been inhabiting and face the shadows that are dancing in our periphery.

The past year has presented a heavy dose of devastation to me and my family. I lost a young cousin and two nephews, all young men in their 20’s, in very tragic ways. My first grandchild was stillborn, and a month later my mother was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. Though this year has seemed extreme, if I look back on my life I realize that this is a story that has been unraveling by degrees since my time in the womb. In this life, I have been forged in fire. My world has been constructed, destroyed, and reconstructed repeatedly. And, each time I have been able to recreate myself closer and closer to the truth of who I really am.

At some point along the way, I decided that I would let go of my resistance to this process and start getting intimate with my experiences of grief and trauma. I stopped running from them. I sat with them, raw and unprotected, open and vulnerable, and; I began to consciously look for the light in the darkness they were cloaked in. This open engagement has brought some beautiful realizations into my awareness and reshaped the way that I deal with tragedy in my life.

Everyone’s experience with tragedy is personal and unique. My journey through these waters is no different. I have met these moments with my own limitations, restricted by my own perceptions, beliefs, and understandings. I have been blinded by expectations and constrained by preconceived notions about how life was supposed to be, for me and those I love. Every shattering experience provided me with an opportunity to broaden my view, to shift my perspective, and to change my beliefs. They allowed me the chance to let go of the truths I had constructed, so that higher truths could take root within me.

What I’ve learned from Illness ~

When we are faced with an illness that requires us to change our lives to save our lives, we are forced to consider the value of the life we have been living. We have to take some time to consider whether the effort required to change is worth the life it will save. If the answer to that inquiry is no, we have to examine the life that we have been living and figure out how to create a life going forward that aligns with our truest sense of value.

Though it seems paradoxical, in many instances a life-altering or life-threatening illness can save our lives. It can shock us out of complacent acceptance of the status quo and into full engagement with the life we most want to live. It can help us to become more honest with ourselves, more authentic in our offerings, and more determined to be our best selves. It can cause us to shed the superficial concerns that have distracted us and search for deeper meaning. When someone close to us faces this process, it doesn’t just offer that opportunity to them, it offers it to us as well.

When someone we love is sick, we must help them navigate the upheaval of this new reality in their lives, while we simultaneously find balance in the new reality surrounding our relationship with them. We do this work so that we can be fully present to witness each unfolding moment beside them. In this process, our interactions with them become much more honest and gain more depth. This allows us to know one another in ways that seemed impossible before the illness was present. When viewed in that light, illness can be an incredible gift, providing us an opportunity to enter into a more authentic relationship with ourselves and those around us, while also catapulting us into a new relationship with life itself. The beauty in that is profound.

Through my Mother’s illness, I have been able to have conversations with her that we never would have had under other circumstances. We have been able to wade deep into the waters of forgiveness and spiritual healing, in order to open the space for deep and complete healing to occur within her. No matter what the outcome of her journey ends up being, we are all better, more loving, and more thoughtful human beings for having had this experience together. It has truly been a journey of deep love, for us here in the physical realm and between us and the beings in the spiritual realm.

What I’ve learned from Death ~

The death of someone close to us offers us similar gifts. When someone we love leaves this world, it causes us to reach toward the realm of spirit. And, since our loved one’s journey beyond the physical has brought them back into closer alignment with the larger body of creation, our reaching toward them results in our coming closer to our Creator. There is no faster way to strip away our resistance to spiritual connection than for one of our loved ones to cross back into spirit form. When those we love are on the other side, our desire to reach across the divide is amplified. Therefore, we reach further toward that unending source of life than we ever had before. Many of us also develop a belief that our loved ones are now watching over us from the other side, and we find comfort and inspiration in that knowledge. This can result in us living better lives, and becoming more courageous in our endeavors, because we know that we are being supported by spirit.

If we continue reaching toward the world of spirit, we begin to recognize that there is a deeper truth being revealed to us through this process. Our loved ones are helping us to understand that we are always being watched and supported by the loving presence of the Creator and our ancestors. Unfortunately, it is often only through the illusion of loss that we begin to awaken to the truth of that unending connection. The truth is that we are supported and guided by spirit throughout our lives.

At the time of birth, loving hands reach into creation to bring life into this world. Then, following death, loving hands again reach into creation to maintain the ties that they have developed in life. This tells us that life itself is a thread that keeps us connected to the very source of creation. There is unbelievable beauty in that.

During all the trauma and grief that I have experienced, I have found an opening for a deeper connection to the source of life and a greater understanding of the divine love that is at its core. For that, I am eternally thankful. The wisdom of the Creator, which flows through all aspects of our lives, is unending. Every day the divine source of life breathes within each one of us, and every day we are provided with a new opportunity to align with that breath.

Take a moment today to reach toward the source of your life, and whisper to creation:

 “Divine teacher, beloved friend, infinite breath of life – I bow to you, again and again,” and then wait for the feeling of warmth that floods into your soul as creation bows back to you.

–

image credit: x1klima

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